I feel bad admitting it, but I’m jealous of my friends’ lives. It seems that everyone I know is getting their dream job, traveling to a dazzling country, getting married, or otherwise living an exciting, happy life. I feel like I don’t measure up. How can I get over my envy and be happy with what I do have? – Jeri in Beaverton, OR
LYNN: Envy is a natural emotion. We all feel envious of our friends and family from time to time. What’s important is that you are aware of it. You may be surprised to learn that the friends you are envious of are envious of your life! The old grass is greener adage.
Think about what you love about your life. What is special to you? What do you like? Then run through a mental checklist of what you want to change or achieve. Now you are ready to take proactive steps to initiate the changes you desire, and the goals you have identified. Then do it – take the first step, then the next. You’ll be thrilled by what you accomplish!
TINA: I think that all of us, at one time or another, read about a celebrity and think how nice it must be to have their life. Closer to home, we may have friends and associates that appear to have it all. Envy? Maybe. Jealousy? Maybe. Identifying something that seems to be lacking in our lives? Most likely.
I find that when my life is feeling dull, that I don’t have enough, that life is passing me by, I push myself to visit with people that are less fortunate than I. Volunteering is a great way to refocus your priorities; giving back is both a gift to yourself and to others. Find a place to read to children or to seniors; help out at a local shelter; find events within your community that widen your eyes to opportunities. You can also decide to create that life you want – follow those friends, ask questions, get involved in their activities, broaden your network. We are in control of our emotions, but sometimes we need a little boost to remind ourselves that we are special – and deserving. Some of us need to find a different path to get there.
Lynn Whitbeck is the co-founder and President of Petite2Queen. She is focused on identifying and evaluating opportunities for women at work, helping them define their personal roadmap. She dedicates herself to delivering tools and insights, embracing visualization of the big picture, and identifying and implementing the minutiae of detail. Lynn aims to share lessons learned along her journey and enable positive uplift for women.