I am so tired of hearing my friends say, “We should get together sometime,” and then they never call. How do I deal with these empty promises? – Felicia in Fort Smith, Arkansas
Answer:
Felicia, call them and set a date. There is no reason to be passive and wait for someone else to make the first move. Look at your calendar and select two options that work with your schedule, then call, text, Facebook Message, or any other method that works for you. Mark your calendar with the tentative get together. Then reach out to another friend with two different dates. You can stack up as many as you want as long as you make a note of dates and friends invited.
Choose events or locations where you share an interest and which are convenient to both. Or something you always thought would be fun to try. Eventbrite, Allevents, and Meetups abound with possibilities. If something looks terrific, go by yourself. You will give yourself the opportunity to meet new people who share your enthusiasm.
If you don’t hear back from a friend after an invitation, send one reminder. If no response, ask again in another month. After several months without a response, snail mail them a card letting them know you are thinking of them. And when they dig out of everything they have going on and reach out to you, be cordial and upbeat. We all go through crazy times and uphill battles. Sometimes we truly have no time for our closest friends. I know this is true as I could only cope with my husband and family during the last months of his life. I had no energy for even my BFFs.
You are in control of your own happiness. Seize it. Make room for your friends while you also pursue your own interests. Sign up for a class, attend a community event, join a Meetup group – there is a world of opportunity out there. It’s yours for the choosing.
Lynn Whitbeck is the co-founder and President of Petite2Queen. She is focused on identifying and evaluating opportunities for women at work, helping them define their personal roadmap. She dedicates herself to delivering tools and insights, embracing visualization of the big picture, and identifying and implementing the minutiae of detail. Lynn aims to share lessons learned along her journey and enable positive uplift for women.