Pressure to have children

Pressure to Have Children

Written By:

Lynn Whitbeck

I’m entering my 30s, and I’m starting to feel the pressure to have children. My husband wants kids – soon – and I don’t know how long I’m going to keep putting it off. I want children, but I just don’t feel ready yet. Help! – Heather in Sherman Oaks, CA 


TINA: Maturity is needed here. Decisions made under pressure are rarely sound. Particularly a decision which will impact your life – for the rest of your life. It is a woman’s right to determine whether/when to have or to not have children. This is a huge responsibility and one that should not be considered lightly. I would suggest a frank conversation with your husband as to your feelings. Be open with your thoughts – it is not up to you to make your husband feel better by saying yes to having a child that you are not ready for. It is not fair to bring a new life into this world – a baby – that starts out by having a parent that truly did not want the responsibility.

LYNN: Heather, I have some strong opinions on the subject of having children. I believe you must be emotionally ready and fully committed mentally. Choosing to have a child because you feel pressured is not a good idea. Having a child is a lifetime commitment and an irrevocable life changer. Raising your child, or children, is the most important thing you will ever do. This is an enormous responsibility with a profound impact on your life.

I was not ready until my mid-30s. When I had my daughter, she became the center of our universe. She always will be. My advice is to take your time and don’t allow yourself to be pressured. Wait until you feel ready to take on the greatest adventure of your life.

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