The ink is barely dry from my mom’s divorce and she’s already started dating. I am worried that she needs a break and time to regain her balance and focus on her life. Should my mom be dating right after divorce? Am I just projecting my fears or are these real concerns I should discuss with her? – Marcie in Allen, Texas
Lynn: Divorce is a loss, for your mom and for you. How people respond to the loss and work through the grief process is unique to every individual. Divorce also takes a long time, so your mother may have moved through her grief at the loss of her marriage during the proceedings. Marcie, talk to your mom. Let her know how much you love and respect her, and ask that she listen to your concerns. Then let her respond. Hear her out and accept her decision. Be ready and available when she wants to talk or needs emotional support.
Amanda: Marcie, I understand where you’re coming from. I have a friend whose dad died a few years ago, and her mom started dating only 5 months later. It can be difficult to see your parent moving forward while you’re still grieving. There are many reasons why people might date soon after another relationship ends. Lately we often hear about people rebounding. Sometimes a person doesn’t really know how to be alone, or simply doesn’t like to be alone. Maybe your mom just found the right person at the right time.
Although you might not be ready for your mom to start dating, she does deserve to be happy and follow her heart. Whether these are casual dates or a new, serious relationship, let your mom explore her options. And as Lynn suggested, have a conversation with your mom so you can each understand one another. Keep an open mind, and seek support if you need it.
Lynn Whitbeck is the co-founder and President of Petite2Queen. She is focused on identifying and evaluating opportunities for women at work, helping them define their personal roadmap. She dedicates herself to delivering tools and insights, embracing visualization of the big picture, and identifying and implementing the minutiae of detail. Lynn aims to share lessons learned along her journey and enable positive uplift for women.